ChrisCParty on Australia! (LINK)
June 24th 2008 03:57
According to Melissa Jenkins on ninemsn.com.au, “Australians are fatter, drunker and have more sexually transmitted diseases than ever before.” ("Australians 'fatter, drinking more'" Tues, June 24 2008)
Clearly we Aussies know how to have a good time. The most encouraging thing about the above statement is that while we are getting fatter, we are still getting laid, meaning no one could ever accuse us of being snobbish (like the Poms), weak (like the French), self-obsessed (like the Italians) or into animals (insert your own simile here).
Instead, we are a nation that glorifies gangsters, from Ned Kelly through to Underbelly.
We would prefer to have a beer with Boonie rather than a cuppa with the Queen.
The news doesn’t sell unless it’s about sports-stars shagging sports-stars in dodgy bars. Or sports-stars getting drunk and pounding the poor public.
Melissa’s damning report goes on to point out that: “The good news from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) biennial national snapshot is we live longer than any other nation except for Japan.”
So there you have it. Fat, drunk, and shagged. The secret to longevity is finally out. I knew the whole jogging thing wouldn’t last. We’re on a good thing Australia: enjoy the ride.
And as for my next vacation: stay where you are Tokyo, here I come!
Cheers, and chow4now.
Clearly we Aussies know how to have a good time. The most encouraging thing about the above statement is that while we are getting fatter, we are still getting laid, meaning no one could ever accuse us of being snobbish (like the Poms), weak (like the French), self-obsessed (like the Italians) or into animals (insert your own simile here).
Instead, we are a nation that glorifies gangsters, from Ned Kelly through to Underbelly.
We would prefer to have a beer with Boonie rather than a cuppa with the Queen.
The news doesn’t sell unless it’s about sports-stars shagging sports-stars in dodgy bars. Or sports-stars getting drunk and pounding the poor public.
Melissa’s damning report goes on to point out that: “The good news from the Australian Institute of Health and Welfare (AIHW) biennial national snapshot is we live longer than any other nation except for Japan.”
So there you have it. Fat, drunk, and shagged. The secret to longevity is finally out. I knew the whole jogging thing wouldn’t last. We’re on a good thing Australia: enjoy the ride.
And as for my next vacation: stay where you are Tokyo, here I come!
Cheers, and chow4now.
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