ChrisCTOP TEN: The things we learn
March 4th 2008 05:18
What are the key things that we have learnt from the media and the world in the last two-point something years? How far have we progressed as a civilisation in this period of time?!
Having served community radio for two point something years now, people often come up to us and say “Hey, Funky and The Jazzman! What have you guys learnt in your time on radio? You know, based on your thorough research and learnings, both here and abroad,” they’ll say.
No they won’t. But if someone did ask us, then that would be a good question for us to answer, and an even better one to write a blog about. And so we’ll now attempt to answer that never-asked question, in true media style – by coming up with a TOP TEN list!
The Top Ten things we have learnt whilst being on radio…
1) The United Nations are a well organised, vital source of information to man-kind. Without a UN committee being formed, spending months on the problem, and then releasing their astonishing information to the world, we wouldn’t have had a clue that tasers were a form of torture.
2) According to at least one United States company, tasers are also a good source of family fun! Why else would you release a taser/mp3 player combo gadget?
3) Iceland was announced as the “most developed nation of 2007.” Congratulations to them, but our own research told us that Icelanders also eat cured ram scrota, is the home of, and therefore wholly responsible for, singer Bjork, and whilst no longer having a commercial whaling fleet, they still allow scientific whale hunts. I guess that shows how undeveloped and infantile groups such as Greenpeace really are. Grow up Greenpeace!
4) If you are in the entertainment business and need a quick surge of publicity, drugs and booze are good, but rehab is better.
5) John Howard and Mark Latham do actually have one thing in common. They both stuck around for one election too many.
6) You need to be stuck in a mine for at least two weeks before the Foo Fighters write a song for you or Eddie McGuire buys you a beer.
7) Luke and Leia shouldn't have kissed.
8) The nation is split over whether spending months on end with a mate on a canoe between Australia and New Zealand is heroic or a complete waste of everyone’s time.
9) If you’re a new sporting team to a competition, then every big match you are involved in for the first three years in undoubtedly “the most important in the club’s history.”
10) In these days of politically correct times, where an individual’s clumsiness can lead to a multi-million dollar lawsuit, we all should be taking the lead of a US tractor company and attach the following sticker on absolutely everything: “Warning – Avoid Death.”
And finally, probably the most important thing we have learnt over the past few years…
Be alert, not alarmed.
And chow4now.
Having served community radio for two point something years now, people often come up to us and say “Hey, Funky and The Jazzman! What have you guys learnt in your time on radio? You know, based on your thorough research and learnings, both here and abroad,” they’ll say.
No they won’t. But if someone did ask us, then that would be a good question for us to answer, and an even better one to write a blog about. And so we’ll now attempt to answer that never-asked question, in true media style – by coming up with a TOP TEN list!
The Top Ten things we have learnt whilst being on radio…
1) The United Nations are a well organised, vital source of information to man-kind. Without a UN committee being formed, spending months on the problem, and then releasing their astonishing information to the world, we wouldn’t have had a clue that tasers were a form of torture.
2) According to at least one United States company, tasers are also a good source of family fun! Why else would you release a taser/mp3 player combo gadget?
3) Iceland was announced as the “most developed nation of 2007.” Congratulations to them, but our own research told us that Icelanders also eat cured ram scrota, is the home of, and therefore wholly responsible for, singer Bjork, and whilst no longer having a commercial whaling fleet, they still allow scientific whale hunts. I guess that shows how undeveloped and infantile groups such as Greenpeace really are. Grow up Greenpeace!
4) If you are in the entertainment business and need a quick surge of publicity, drugs and booze are good, but rehab is better.
5) John Howard and Mark Latham do actually have one thing in common. They both stuck around for one election too many.
6) You need to be stuck in a mine for at least two weeks before the Foo Fighters write a song for you or Eddie McGuire buys you a beer.
7) Luke and Leia shouldn't have kissed.
8) The nation is split over whether spending months on end with a mate on a canoe between Australia and New Zealand is heroic or a complete waste of everyone’s time.
9) If you’re a new sporting team to a competition, then every big match you are involved in for the first three years in undoubtedly “the most important in the club’s history.”
10) In these days of politically correct times, where an individual’s clumsiness can lead to a multi-million dollar lawsuit, we all should be taking the lead of a US tractor company and attach the following sticker on absolutely everything: “Warning – Avoid Death.”
And finally, probably the most important thing we have learnt over the past few years…
Be alert, not alarmed.
And chow4now.
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